The Libby App by Overdrive

I used to always love holding a book in my hands. From when I was little and barely knew the words on the page. When I was older and waiting for the Bookmobile to come, sitting on the curb, re-reading the pages of the book I was returning, it was magic.

Then came the pandemic, and all that old anxiety came roaring back. All those years of counseling to not be afraid, well of just about everything. I love my Mom, more than words. She had OCD and it ruled her life at times, and for a long time it ruled mine. She would obsessively clean everything and for a good while, I had some of the same demons.

So it is funny to think that neither of us every thought about that when it came to books, We borrowed them, we read them propped on the couch, she on one end, me on the other. Books were magical and books were a reprieve from all that world outside. So scary that the only thing you could do, was make sure you washed your hands a hundred times, because that is what you could control.

Here I am now though now, afraid to touch a real book, especially a borrowed book, which really is not only my lifetime passion but my livelihood. Working in a library, you touch books, you interact with people, and you know I love it. The pandemic has taken so much away from everyone, for me it's that safety, that comfort long earned and long felt.

So if I don't leave my house, if I don't touch anything, let alone a borrowed book, may be I'll feel that I have some sort of control. It is all an illusion though.

Libby, with lets you read electronic books, gave me my books back.  Yet, I miss those physical books so much. They were about the journey while electronic books for me, are a race to the finish before the loan period ends and the book disappears. Funny, I never thought of books that way.

Books were permanent when everything in my life seemed fleeting. How can I and how can we get that feeling back again. That feeling of permanence, of safety and normalcy.