Peace Like a River

I remember writing an essay over thirty years ago, in the weeks that followed David losing a job in which one of the last lines were "that peace is elusive now". Was thinking of those words and how well they fit the last three months. So much loss in people's lives, and frustration and sadness that went along with this pandemic and so much unknown still. Yes, Peace is elusive fits it well. Today though peace flowed like a river, like that hymn many of us know so well. Peace in laughter and meals together with Tim, Ben and Dave. Peace in a walk at the state park with our sweet pups Mia and Bailey relishing every moment, every smell, every tree and blade of grass. Peace in watching Ben watering the little garden he's starting in the back yard, and understanding all the gifts he has. Peace in the pride I feel in all my sons and the good men that they are. Peace in reading the most wonderful book, This Tender Land, and finishing the pages Just before the e-book would disappear and realizing while the pages were gone, the feeling that I had read something magic would linger for the longest time. Peace like a river, Peace like a river, Peace like a river in my soul.

Quarantine Questions Part Two

We all have things we miss big and small. Right now I am pondering the thought that I won't be able to travel to Arizona to help support Zeena when the new baby comes. That I won't be there to hold her in my arms when she's barely an hour old, like I did with her sister Hayley. I am also quietly furious that virus numbers in Arizona are trending upward, that Zeena shares that more than half the people she sees outside don't even wear a mask. I am angry and frustrated and just want to somehow protect her and this new baby. Why and when did we become so cavalier about how we are a community and that we have a responsibility to each other. It is such a challenging and surreal time. I am actually looking at Disney masks to buy for Hayley when she turns two, because Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are her favorites now. When did it get to be so normal, to think about buying masks for a toddler's birthday present? Maybe I am too tired and it's too late to wrap my head around it all now. There's just so much we miss, big and small and priceless.

Quarantine Questions

Quarantine Questions...You spend your whole life when you have Aspergers trying to get this connection thing right, it takes you maybe fifty years but you really feel you are getting the hang of it. You feel connected to your book group, your neighbors, some new friends here, and all of a sudden we're unconnected. So you try and be the one that calls, your good at calling, but as the time gets longer, it feels like a rope fraying. It gets easy to get complacent because that has helped you navigate these tricky waters in the past. You value old friends, where words unspoken are all that is needed. Where laughs come easy because your don't have to worry about saying the wrong thing.

Funny though, those new threads keep beckoning...and you don't want to forget how to knit them together.