Liberate

Have had the privilege of spending a good part of today listening to the One World Together at Home, international concerts to raise awareness and support our front line workers. Listening to performers all over the world united in support was a wonderful thing. Interesting contrast to seeing posts and hearing in the news about protests in the US these past days, about needing to "liberate" our country. What we need to liberate from though, is divisive politics, a commander in chief who formulates hate instead of unity, and other forces that want to drive us apart when our greatest strength right now is how we can support our medical workers and keep ourselves and families safe by listening to the guidance of our scientific community. It truly is one world in all this, and the sooner we learn this the better.

Voyage

So I realized that it has been a month since I have left the house, except for walking the doggies around the neighborhood. It's even been a couple of weeks since I took a short car ride to a local farm for a contactless purchase. My last trip out, a month ago, was to get another x-ray to check on my pneumonia. Am I the only one that feels like I fell down the rabbit hole, and Alice or the White Rabbit is going to make an appearance any time now. No pun intended. I have been trying to think of this experience in Star Trek terms and being on some long journey across the stars. I have my husband and sons and we are charting this trip through the unknown. It's long, and scary and sometimes boring and often terrifying but it's this journey were on. Though it feels were traveling alone, there's an Armada traveling along with us. That is what matters the most, we're in this together, Friends.

Easter Morning

Easter Sunday morning will dawn in a few hours from now and I send wishes to those that celebrate. It may not be the day you had planned or the way you usually celebrate, but Easter will arrive. For me, that has always been the reason to celebrate. In darkness, and just when 2,000 years ago, followers of Jesus felt at their lowest, morning arrived. Just as in this time of darkness, doubt and fear, morning will arrive. I wish all of you that comfort and calm. Thinking of you and all you love on this day.

Today

I do not like solitary walks in the woods or yoga on a mountain top, what I do love is concerts, plays, bowling alleys, movie theaters, arcades, mini-golf and I not only was thinking today how much I miss them but also when and if I will ever feel the same about going to them again. Right now we are in crisis mode and health and safety are first and foremost and our hearts are with those struggling with the virus and those who have lost ones they love. I think it is okay though to also contemplate all the little things we took for granted and feel sadness for them as well. It's what I am feeling now and it feels selfish but I think I will be patient and kind with myself and says it's okay to feel what I am feeling in this moment.

Reality

4/2/20 - I was just in the shower, stifling a sob or a scream or I don't know which and I don't know what brought me to that point. Maybe it was hearing the latest statistics from Gov. Cuomo this afternoon. Maybe it was watching the movie 1917 this evening and thinking of each one of those wounded then, and those sick and ailing now. I am Tired. We all are Tired. I'm sure I am not the only one who wants to scream to the heavens, Stop. In a way I feel that all of us will be wounded by this pandemic, one way or another and that this is the price we pay for being human. Then again though, it is also our strength, we care deeply for one another, we are one community. Each of our pain is the others, but then each of our strength is each others as well.